My life as a Jinchuuriki
by shadowwolf44
Summary: The word Jinchuuriki defined his being. Not leaf ninja. Not a child. Not even human. Jinchuuriki.


Title: Changing

Idea: When Naruto learned that he was a jinchuuriki I think Naruto himself should have changed more dramatically.

In all his life Naruto had never been so tired, so mentally exhausted. He laid in his bed, inside his aging apartment and waited patiently for sleep to carry him into nothingness. But sleep did not come.

In one night he had been tricked into stealing one of the village's most secret scrolls, learned a forbidden jutsu, had his crazy teacher try to kill him, and save his teacher/father figure from said crazed teacher.

But that wasn't what kept sleep from claiming him.

He had finally, _finally_, learned why the villagers hated him, why they looked at him with those eyes.

He was a demon container.

_Jinchuuriki._

Inside him, trapped by nothing more than some squiggly lines, was a demon.

_The Kyuubi no Kitsune._

Without a sound, Naruto turned onto his side staring into a small cracked mirror next to his bed. He raised his hand slowly to his face, lightly running his fingers over his _whiskers_. He had always thought they were birth marks, or maybe a dormant bloodline.

He had never even thought of the possibility that they were a jinchuuriki marks.

Four hours ago, he had never even heard the word _jinchuuriki_.

But now it defined him.

Not leaf ninja.

Not orphan.

Not even human.

_Jinchuuriki._

His hand reached up to his forehead, in a now well practiced gesture, to caress his leaf headband.

_Iruka's_ head band.

He felt like a child, clutching a blanket for comfort, afraid of monsters under his bed.

But in his case the monsters were real.

He slowly untried the headband, bringing it in front of his face.

He carefully examined every dent and every scratch, with his eyes.

This was proof.

Proof that someone didn't think he was a demon.

Not a monster.

He did not move from that position until the sun was reflecting of the worn metal.

And if he felt the wetness on his cheeks, he gave them no attention.

00000

When he walked into his old class room, he attracted absolutely no attention.

For someone who always wanted the spot light, when he wanted to be invisible, he was.

It was a testimony to his stealth skills that he could sneak into the Hokage's tower and steal a carefully guarded scroll while wearing a bright orange jacket.

A jacket that was currently absent.

Maybe he was tired of orange.

Maybe it was Iruka's blood strains that covered the jacket.

Maybe he didn't want any more attention.

He didn't know.

And didn't currently care.

He sat down next to a snoring Shikamaru and a munching Chōji

Giving the latter his best smile, an utterly tired one, he put his head in his arms and tired to get some sleep.

He, once again, failed.

His ears tuned into his other classmates' words, how excited they were, what jonin-sensei they hoped to get, when they started missions, and the like.

And when he heard Sakura's voice he, mostly by habit, raised his head to look at her.

The sight of the pink haired girl would usually make him feel warm, but today all he felt was a stab of pain.

After all, who would love a _jinchuuriki_?

She was arguing with another girl, two girls in fact, about who would seat next to Sasuke.

For a moment, Naruto felt a sudden bitterness for Sasuke.

Sasuke, the genius, the star student, the-

Naruto quickly cut that line of thought. He didn't…_hate_ Sasuke. He just got all the attention, all the _good_ attention.

And he wasn't a _jinchuuriki_.

He couldn't forget that.

00000

"…and Team 7 will be…Uzumaki Naruto…"

Naruto raised his head at his name, giving his first real smile towards Iruka.

The person that doesn't think of him as a monster.

Not a demon.

But a _jinchuuriki_…

Naruto's smiled dimmed only slightly, and lucky for him, Iruka didn't notice.

"…next on Team 7 will be Haruno Sakura…"

Getting a few looks from his lack of cheering, Naruto turned towards Sakura and meet her eyes.

Her _green _eyes.

Eyes filled with, not love as Naruto had frequently dreamed, but disgust.

_After all, who would love a jinchuuriki?_

Hiding a flinch, Naruto was the first to look away.

"…and finally Uchiha Sasuke."

Naruto turned his gaze to the back of Sasuke's hair, which he thought looked like a duck's butt, and hid another flinch.

Kami-sama, I apologize for whatever I did in my past life, but I beg for your mercy.

"Your jonin-sensei will be Hatake Kakashi."

And as Naruto silently waited for three hours, listening absent mindedly to Sakura asking Sasuke out on dates and trying to start a conversation, he continued to pray to kami-sama, asking her with her infinite mercy to make his death quick. 


End file.
